PCOS sucks. That is all.

Dear PCOS,
You suck. Thats all I have to say. But, I will say more. I will stand up loud and proud and tell you that you are not welcome in my body. I know you wont listen. See, you are a mean mama jama that has a mind of her own. Well, just so you know, I too have a mind of my own and I am a stubborn hard headed girl who has hopes to live a life full of fun and no pain brought on by you. I have plans to lose this weight that you caused me to gain. Oh, I'm losing it alright and I am also going to get a hold of this depression, acne, not sleeping and joint pain too. Oh yes, it's happening. See, I need to be available for my kids school field trips, sons cub scout event and my boys baseball games. I don't need you hanging about ruining my workout plans, or any plans for that matter. You are a pain in my ass and I'm tired of you. I think it's been long enough now that you can just go your merry way and leave me alone.
I have lived with you long enough and your rent is no longer accepted. I'm officially sending you an eviction notice. Effective THIS INSTANT. While you pack your bags and never look back, please return my size 6 jeans, glowing skin, thicker hair, happy go lucky attitude. Return the me who didn't have to worry about sweating in public. The me who dint think twice about what I was wearing because everything looked good. The me who's ambition was not faltered and energy was through the roof. The me who didn't think people were looking at me because of my quick weight gain, rather they were looking at me because of my cute fashion sense. I expect to get myself back. I give you 6 months to give the real me back....but, you are evicted. K, bye.

what you may not know

PCOS BITES.

as you know i was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome back in september.  i am on a mission to heal me naturally.  do not get that confused with me being cured.  pcos is not a syndrome in which you can be cured.  i can however, control my symptoms by natural means.  so, that's what i'm doing.

first, i started taking ViSalus which you have all read about.  i drink 2 shakes daily.  i have started eating clean and as close as the paleo way of eating as i can.  i have cut out white foods because for me personally they cause me to get sick.  maybe not to my stomach per say, but they make me break out with cystic acne, tend to make me go on a frenzy of wanting more more more and i just don't need that.

lets talk about why pcos is a beyatch...

first, off, have you ever stood in line and felt sweat dripping down your back or your leg and you are in the air conditioning? have you ever had to change your clothes because they are drenched and you haven't had a water fight or worked out...or better yet, and it's in the dead of winter....

do you feel like you HAVE GOT TO HAVE carbs or sugary foods or you will bite someones head off and deep down you are hoping they have a chocolaty filled center?  do you periodically look [or constantly] in the mirror at yourself and swear you see a hormone raging teenage boy?  these are just the tip of the ice burg.  i've only just begun.  but, i will stop there because i'm over it.

i no longer have heat stroke in winter BUT i am looking like a hormonal teenage boy.  yes.  acne.  cystic acne.  do you even know what that is?  let me show you what my problem is and how bad it can get.  i have areas of concern that look like vulgaris, conglobata and even fulminans.  i've started using obagi clenziderm and it's fabulous.  it doesn't dry my face out and it actually puts the moisture in.  

i have met the sweetest women these last few months that have really been a supportive structure for me.  together we are making our voices heard.  we are helping each other, supporting one another and making friendships that i have no doubt will last a lifetime.  my cysters are my family now and i can't imagine my life without them!

till next time 

xoxoxo

cyster erika